Drag night was a success. A drunken, ridiculous time was had by all. I think I had…eight brandy old fashion sweets with cherries…? Yeah, the bartenders always get pissed when I order them but I don’t give a fuck. That’s what I drink.
Then, J showed up. Favorite friend that I wrote a little diddy about on this blog that I…never have and never will write for anyone like that again . I gave her the password at one point and thought
she had read it….withered and fretted about her lack of response….just to find out that she never had. Super.
After the aforementioned fish tank of old fashions I agreed to let her read it after all. Its a very personal and painful prose of how she lands in my heart.
Quick background on me. I’m an asshole. I was created as such. My mom is dead. My abusive dad, brother and extended family have disowned me. I have some family left in Chicago but I never see them. Happily I ended up in a relationship with A, but before that I spent a long time chewing women up. Always honest about it…however…when your first statement to a woman is “I’m a dick, you don’t want to fuck with me” you know they’re going to want it all the more.
So. To write your heart to someone and give it to them is a BIG DEAL for me.
Her response? It was one of the most beautiful things she ever wrote and made her cry. She couldn’t thank me enough.
This is good…of course it is….but it still left me shaken up. I gave myself one day to mope about it….listened to Burning Bridges on repeat….repeat….repeat….
And now I’m good. Never let them see you weak. The less interested person always has the upper hand.